FFVII Twitter Group Xmas Ditty

Hooray! Hooray!
Today is Christmas Day!
Look at these presents under the tree
Here's one for Vincent and one for ME!
"Puppy! Get out of there!"
Aw man, Angeal's everywhere!
The VP is freaking drunk!

I didn't have that much beer!
I toast to ShinRa and good cheer!
Christmas cookies and roast pig
Look! Kunsel even got a new wig!
Come here you saucy tart!
Reno did you fart?
Oh! Dark Nation got Tseng's fira!

RUFUS! What did I say?
No beer for you today!
You've got a meeting in the morning
Now you get a verbal warning
Get off your sad drunken butt
And get control of your mutt!
She's worse than Angeal's puppy!

I'm appalled! Such shame!
I don't care who is to blame.
All that booze and degeneration
President Shinra I need a vacation!
What happened to honor and all that dreaming
I am two seconds away from screaming
RENO OPEN A WINDOW!!!

I didn't cut the cheese!
But I feel like I'm some disease
I'm a Turk with lots of cunning
But from me everyone's running
I'm ready for another beer
Everyone, happy new year!
Not yet? Go play with the puppy, kitten.

Dizzy dizzy dizzy dizzy
Zack's telling me to get busy
One step on the dance floor
And my head could not spin any more
How many of those - oh, Wutai Ale did I drink?
Four, six, eight, ten I think?
I should have had dumbapple wine instead!

I love my xmas gift!
I'll read it on the night shift.
Leatherbound and limited edition
I'd better not lose it on the next mission
What did I get? Take a guess!
It's of course a fancy copy of LOVELESS!
Get that look off your face Kunsel!

Put that goddamn book away!
I hear that stupid LOVELESS everyday!
It doesn't quite have that allure
Like my French pedicure.
Hey guys the party is dying down
And I'm getting champagne on my ball gown
Time for Xmas picture!

And after the drunknness, the groping, the potshots, the food, the presents...it all ends like

this:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!